Judy Dykstra-Brown

“We know that no one wants to listen to a book about death and grief, but this book is about a lot more than that. Since we’ll probably never convince you of that fact, perhaps our readers can do it for you:”

Readers’ Comments:

Having the courage to speak with unembellished honesty, Judy Dykstra-Brown begins by describing the move she and her husband Bob are planning to make to a more relaxed life in Mexico. As the van is being packed and plans finalized, Judy learns her husband is dying. In beautiful prose and poetry, she chronicles her role of caretaker to Bob, their last days together and the death and rituals that follow. Knowing she will be leaving behind all of her support systems, Judy relocates to Mexico alone, sharing her intensely personal journey of growth and finally the excitement of moving towards a different and full life. Uniquely, Anthony Moriarty follows each chapter with a psychological and/or mystical interpretation of the behaviors that accompany Bob's processes of dying and Judy's struggles with the loss of her husband. This is a must read for anyone who has experienced loss.––Romaine Presnell, M.M.H, Mental Health Therapist at John Hopkins, Supervisor of Counseling Services at Associated Catholic Charities and Group Facilitator for The Wellness Community.

From a literary point of view, Judy's narrative is impeccable because she masters the language of the heart. Her poem about her husband complaining of "feeling cold" while at the same time he held back emotional feelings for his son visiting his death bed is described with heart-wrenching mastery. Judy is also a cinematographic artist, painting scenes with words. She causes her words to dance––drawing the reader in with their tempo and the beat. It is difficult to put this book down.––Karuna Gomez Montoya, Lake Chapala Resident

One might infer from its title a pedantic "how-to" book on the subject of Grief; but quite to the contrary, this book is insightful, poignant, humorous and instructive. Dykstra-Brown's poetic narrative style manifests itself most notably through multiple recurring images and symbols. Complete poems by Dykstra-Brown and her husband Bob Brown appear at times throughout the text.––James M. Ewing, Jr., Former English Professor and Lake Chapala Resident

After suddenly losing my partner of 8 years, the combination of emotions that battered me day-to-day left me lost with no idea of how to find my way back to a relatively normal life. I ordered and read a number of the best-selling books on the subject of grief, but felt none of them applied to me until I discovered this brave and startling book. The combination of Judy's honest personal journey and Tony's objective observations make this a very important book with which I was able to easily identify. Had I read it earlier, I seriously think my journey would have been shorter and less debilitating.––Linda Richards, Artist

This book took me to a place where no other book has ever taken me and gave me a new appreciation of lakeside as a magical healing place. Thank you for that. It’s a big revelation for me—and a big step in accepting this place that I have always before thought of as just a place I was passing through. I actually read it in two nights—pretty fast for me. It was a privilege to experience this book.”––Candace Spence, Lake Chapala Resident

With the hundreds of books available to help people navigate their way through the grief process, it is a rare find to discover one that approaches it from a whole new perspective. Lessons from a Grief Diary presents material from what I call Wise Mind, with an alternating blend of raw emotional disclosure combined with intellectual analysis and commentary. We get to travel along with Judy as she copes with the unexpected illness and untimely death of her husband and goes on to build a whole new kind of life on her own. Through her ‘real-time’ journal, she reveals nuances of thoughts and emotions that are rarely spoken aloud. Tony’s intermingled commentary adds a perceptive depth of understanding, providing the reader valuable balance and insights into this complicated evolving process we call grief. Anyone seeking to better understand and explore their own experience of grief will find this book to be an optimistic and eminently relatable companion on their journey.––.Joy Birnbach Dunstan, MA, Licensed Professional Counselor

Reading Lessons from a Grief Diary is the surest way to go from grief to joy.––Gloria Palazzo, Writer, Artist and Widow

Once I started reading this book, I could not put it down. I loved the way Judy dealt with the death of her husband as well as the way in which she expressed her feelings. So many things she did and felt were the same as my feelings and actions when I lost my husband. Her sense of humor, her sadness, her guts to push on will make you feel like you are her best friend. Getting Tony's perspective also gives another window into Judy's heart. If you have lost someone close to you, everything she says will make sense. If you have not yet lost someone close to you, it will prepare you for when it happens.––Audrey Zikmund, Widow for Two Years

Bereavement is a solitary, uphill climb. I watched my mother make the journey and to my child's eyes, it took forever. Lessons from a Grief Diary is a candid account of the grieving process. It's as if author Judy Dykstra-Brown is leading the bereaved individual into Dr. Tony Moriarty's office where the three explore this complex emotional transitional state. I recommend this book to those who have suffered a loss, their families and friends, and to any of the professionals they turn to for help. Reading this book would have helped my mother and me.––Harriet Hart, Social Worker, Past Director of Rehabilitation, Manitoba Paraplegic Assoc.

This book is a great trail guide for exploring the pathway through grief. We get to move between the powerful, surprising ways grief grabs us and the insights and understandings that give us something to hold on to as we pick our way through the boulders.––Georgia King, County Mental Health Counselor

This book combines the personal account of a woman whose husband has unexpectedly become ill and died with the commentary of an experienced clinical psychologist. The story is compelling, the theme universal, and the dual viewpoints of the authors give us unique and valuable insight into the experience of loss, grief and life beyond.––Amelia Stevens, M.D., Psychiatrist